Fall 2020

by John Patrick Shanley

Director: Eric Thibodeaux-Thompson

Scenic Designer: Dathan Powell

Auditions and Crew Interviews: Sunday, August 30 and Monday, August 31, 2020

Callbacks: Tuesday, September 1, 2020

One may attend either Sunday,  August 30 or Monday,  August 31 for one or both of the following times:

6:00pm     Open Crew Interviews           Studio Theatre, Performing Arts Center–Level 1, UIS Campus

7:00pm     Open Auditions                     Studio Theatre, Performing Arts Center–Level 1, UIS Campus

Please Note:  Auditions will chiefly consist of cold readings from the script. 1 Min Prepared Contemporary Monologues are appreciated, but not required. Headshots/Resumes are also appreciated, but not required.  A limited number of scripts ARE NOW AVAILABLE for checkout from the main/front desk in Brookens Library, here on the UIS campus. Please click on this link, to see the current “Grab-And-Go Service” available at Brookens Library for checking out your script:

Performances: November 6, 7, 8 (Fri., Sat., Sun.) & November 12, 13, 14 (Thurs., Fri., Sat.), 2020

The curtain time for Thursday, Friday and Saturday night shows is 7:30 p.m. with the Sunday performance starting at 2 p.m.

Please Note: This production may not play in front of any live audience, as we strive to be as safe as possible for everyone. It is likely that this production will either be recorded live (without an audience) and then made available for online audiences, or live-streamed for online audiences.

Please Also Note: Those planning on attending our open crew interviews and/or our open auditions should plan on wearing masks as they arrive to the Studio Theatre main entrance. Upon arriving, actors and crew members will be guided on where/when to wait their turn, where/when to enter, exit, etc.

ALSO: *Video submissions are allowed as an alternative to in-person auditions. Email a recording of a 1-minute monologue selection (preferably from the play, but any contemporary monologue will do) to Director, Eric Thibodeaux-Thompson at between August 26 and August 31. (phone video recordings are sufficient). Please audition in the way which is most comfortable for you.

THE STORIES: Ten magnetic characters. Ten bizarre, explosive, and darkly humorous stories. This collection of monologues from the imagination of Pulitzer Prize–winning John Patrick Shanley delves into the allure of bad behavior and the absurdity of being human. UNKNOWN CALLER. “Where was the ring? I stared at the open box.” After a doomed proposal and a night of heavy drinking, a would-be fiancé wakes to a hangover and a missing engagement ring. A phone call from a stranger may hold the key to its whereabouts—and an opportunity for a fresh start. (1 man.) DRIVE. “He looked at me like I was an unexpected problem, like the day had been going fine, and I ruined it.” A cabaret singer does not like the janitor at her club, and the feeling is mutual. As she struggles to find authenticity in her performances, a sudden event brings inspiration. (1 woman.) GAUCHO. “He did not realize the kind of man I was, and that he was in danger.” An aggrieved descendant of the gauchos of Argentina seeks revenge on the man who seduced his wife. (1 man.) ARTIFICIAL LEG. “Who leaves a leg?” A homeowner struggles to dispose of the prosthetic limb he discovered in the basement of his new townhouse. (1 man.) DITTO. “I’m scared to death.” A journalist becomes infatuated with a writer, leaving her fiancé behind and diving headfirst into a blissful romance. But when a friend reaches out with an unsettling discovery, she uncovers the strange truth about her new relationship—and herself. (1 woman.) THE ACUPUNCTURIST. “She was exceptionally good at finding pain.” A patient switches acupuncturists after their practitioner starts to believe he has magical powers. (1 n/s.) THE CLERICAL LINE. “It is not enough to foresee a fashion. One must have courage.” A wealthy bachelor collaborates with Burberry to create a wardrobe of priest’s clothing—a uniform he deems most reflective of his soul and status. (1 man.) I WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING. “I’m the fascinating one. We both know that. I’m the one a movie star would want to play.” A Bronx food cart owner and teller of tall tales bides his time until the woman he loves realizes how exceptional he is. (1 man.) LOCKDOWN. “I hate him, but I can’t leave the puppy.” During a global epidemic, a quarantined woman slips away from her boyfriend to call her lover. (1 woman.) THE CHOREOGRAPHER’S HAND. “The best way to get away with murder is don’t talk about it, and I never have.” In this longer piece, a pianist prone to visions unravels the curious sequence of events that pushed him to kill. (1 man.)–Taken from Dramatists Play Service, Inc. website

CAST: FLEXIBLE – “gender blind” casting will be employed when possible. 4 women, 4 men. Or fewer. Or More.

Those Interested in Working Backstage

Those interested in working backstage (stage managers, props crew, sound research, costumes, dresser, running crew) are asked to attend one night of these auditions, fill out an audition form, and indicate the area of interest backstage. The production team will take a few minutes to meet with you to discuss your area of interest.


Please fill out an audition form when you arrive prior to the auditions start time. Auditions will consist of “cold readings” from the script. Be prepared to make some bold choices, take some risks, and have fun! Prepared monologues and headshots/resumes are appreciated, but are NOT required.

UIS THEATRE invites all theatre artists to audition for roles or apply for backstage work for one of our upcoming productions. Currently enrolled UIS students are given primary consideration in casting roles and backstage assignments, as well as in determining each production. UIS Theatre strives to have our productions reflect the diversity of our world. As such, actors of all races, ethnicities, gender identifications, and abilities are welcome and encouraged to audition for all of our productions.