LGBTQ Allies event opens up discussion

March 3, 2009
By Armando Vega
Staff Writer

Last Tuesday, the LGBTQ Resource Office sponsored “We Love Allies,” an event where members of the LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning) community—and their allies—could speak of their experiences and their beliefs in dealing with issues of sexual-orientation equality.  Sponsored in part to preempt UIS’ forthcoming publication, “UIS Guide to Being an Ally,” the event drew a respectable mid-size crowd, where personal stories were told and thoughtful, intelligent discussion took place.

Renee Rathjen, a staffer at the office and moderator for the event, gave the opening remarks.

“It can be frustrating trying to understand marginalized groups,” she said, in drawing a parallel between the struggle for gay rights and that for racial equality.  It can be especially vexing to be around peers who disparage the groups nonchalantly.

Leading into a discussion of the recent state referendum in California titled Proposition 8, in which voters opted for a strict definition of marriage restricting same-sex couples, Deanie Brown, Associate Chancellor for Access and Equal Opportunity at UIS, continued the point, “Who’s pain is deeper, better, or more authentic?  The gay movement has often been characterized as a white movement,” she said, referencing the media portrayal of a split between gay and minority communities. 

While true that minorities were somewhat more in favor of the measure proportionately than white voters, the media was too zealous to paint a fracture, Brown said, and it should be noted the extent to which the religious communities fervently advocated Proposition 8 and poured dollars into the campaign.

Short public service announcements starring Hillary Duff and Wanda Sykes were shown to the group, in which the celebrity advocates berated joking teenagers, who used the words “gay” and “bad,” or “stupid” interchangeably.

Pointing to the videos as an example of the support roles allies can serve, Rathjen stated, “The role of an ally is crucial.  We have to start by changing the climate…changing the zeitgeist.”

She related a story of how her younger sister had received a marked down grade, apparently for having spoken in support of gay marriage, while the teacher was against it.  Having broken the ice, other members started to speak out.

Allies can often be subjected to similar discomfort as those they defend, particularly in the workplace where childish remarks may be made. 
“Why do you think that’s funny?,” one attendee said he would ask to peers who threw around the term “gay” in a disparaging manner.  It was a question they usually could not answer.

Patricia Langley, a professor of Women and Gender Studies as well as Legal Studies, posited that it is the value itself of striving for orientation equality that is important; it should not just be members of the LGBTQ community and their allies who speak out in opposition to disparaging remarks. 

Indeed, the idea of equality should extend to all sectors of the greater community, stated another attendee, and members of the LGBTQ community should make conscious efforts to embrace progressive politics, because to claim equality for one group yet not another would be self-defeating or hypocritical.  Of course members of the LGBTQ community will feel strongly about equal rights for their group, but to really make the case people to people of all backgrounds, an understanding of what is really at stake—equality and justice for all—has to be emphasized.

As Brown put it, “compassion is more powerful than passion.”