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Spring 2008
By Greta Myers
Staff Writer
When the weekend comes, Mary Lou will likely go on a date and dance with her best friend, Gordon.
The two met at a mixer for dancers without partners. “I was not looking for a male best friend. It did not enter my head,” said Mary Lou. “ But I was looking for a dance partner.”
“We have a lot of fun. I think it’s noticeable on the dance floor,” said Mary Lou Coleman, of Chatham.
The pair have been dancing together for one and a half years. Mary Lou, 82, and Gordon Cushman, 89, of Bloomington, do a variety of ballroom dances, including the cha-cha, rumba and fox-trot.
“First, we were dancing partners, then friends, then wholesome friends and now we’re best friends,” said Mary Lou. A wholesome friend, said Mary Lou, is someone you are dating, but do not hug or kiss.
“But, best friends do, in our understanding of that,” said Mary Lou.
“At this stage in my life, you just want to enjoy every moment you can, with whomever you are with,” she said, “I guess you would say I’m a happy person.”
Ballroom dancing, said Mary Lou, is a great way to meet people, reduce stress and stay in shape.
“I’ve been blessed, I’ve kept a youthful figure,” Mary Lou said of the results of her active lifestyle. Along with the pretty gowns Mary Lou puts on for dancing, the other element of beauty comes from what lies within a person, she says.
“ Your mannerisms ,” said Mary Lou, “and you can be a gracious person.”
Mary Lou demonstrates this graciousness with her continual involvement in volunteering.
She worked in the Senior Health Insurance Program and with the bereavement ministry at St. John’s Hospice.
Mary Lou started volunteering during her 57 year marriage. She delivered medications to St. John’s Hospice until the beginnings of her husband Robert’s bout with Alzheimer’s disease.
“Dealing with Alzheimer’s helped me to grow in certain ways,” said Mary Lou.
“I learned that you had to accept these difficult times in your life. You learn to laugh at things that could be serious.”
As Robert’s illness progressed, friends noticed that the health of Mary Lou, who was his primary caregiver, worsened.
“ I had to make a decision, whether to let myself deteriorate or put him in a home,” Mary Lou said.
She looked into retirement homes in the area and talked with Robert’s doctor, before deciding on the Veterans’ Home in Quincy. She knew she made the right choice during a later visit to her husband.
After telling Mary Lou that he wanted to go home, Robert suddenly changed his mind, put his things down and said, “I kind of like it here.”
“I knew he was well taken care of then,” said Mary Lou.
After four years at the Veterans’ Home, her first ballroom dance partner, Robert, passed away in 2005.
“He was a natural,” Mary Lou said of the time they spent dancing in the Tiara Ballroom in Bloomington.
“I don’t like to remember the bad things,” Mary Lou said, “I know my faith has helped me. I don’t look back. Always look forward.”
Looking forward seems to be the key of Mary Lou’s contentment.
“I’ve always been this active,” she said, “If I didn’t have anything to look forward to I would get bored or depressed.”
And living a full life is just a day in the life of Mary Lou’s circle of friends.
“ Most of my lady friends are just as active as I am.”
