Opinion: King Bush has left a lasting legacy

October 15, 2008
By Andrew Thomason
Staff Writer

There was a show on television last Tuesday night. The plot involved three men, one middle aged the other two senior citizens and went something like this: one of the senior citizens would ask one of the other two a question, and then they would respond from the script. Occasionally the studio audience would get involved and ask a question previously prepared.            

It was all very boring and all very predictable and in the end, no one cared. Of course I am talking about the presidential debates between Senators John McCain and Barack Obama. Before this debate, I was undecided who I was going to vote for, and was in the same state of flux immediately afterwards.

Then I had a brilliant moment of clarity, the kind of thing that happens to someone only once or twice in their life. The kind of feeling when you know you want to marry your girlfriend or boyfriend.

Why not keep George W. Bush in the office? I suggest we create an institutional monarchy for W. After all, he has done more than any previous president to increase the power of the Oval Office so this seems the logical next step.

Before King W, agencies had to go through the cumbersome task of obtaining warrants to tap phones. Now we have warrantless wire taps, and this is only one example of W’s move to streamline the government.
Under President Bill Clinton, extraordinary rendition only allowed us to move terrorist suspects extrajudicially to countries unlikely to torture and with some form of legal process.          

Because of King W’s shrewd maneuvering, we can now send renditionees to countries devoid of legal safeguards. There, the terrorist, and if they are rendered, be assured, they are terrorist, can be held indefinitely and tortured to gather critical information in this war.

Has American soil been struck by terrorist since 9/11/2001? No -- unless you count those anthrax mailings but that was before King W was able to fire up his great anti-terror machine -- it has not. This, of course, because King W and his administration have been the vanguard in fighting terrorist.
Therefore, not supporting King W’s monarchy is essentially supporting terrorist, and if you are not with America in the War on Terror, you are against us.

But King W’s accomplishments are not limited to that War on an ideology. Most recently he has increased the power of the executive branch by allowing the Department of Treasury to spend $700 billion buying contaminated mortgages and other poor investments.

This will undoubtedly save America’s and the World’s economy from a recession. If King W, with the help of congress, had not increased the Treasury’s powers, who knows what could have happened to the fragile economy. But thanks to his immense knowledge, we are on the way back up.

While increasing the powers of the executive branch is impressive, it is not as king like as we need W to be. Thankfully, he has reached to the judicial branch of the government and slowly transforming civil service jobs into patronage jobs.

According to the Boston Globe, “hiring is closely overseen by Bush administration political appointees to Justice (Department), effectively turning hundreds of career jobs into politically appointed positions.” This is a complete departure from the way hiring has been done in the past.
But this only seems fit for King W, because who else but the emperor is fit to grant people work in government?

So join with me by writing your congressperson, and ask for an amendment to the Constitution establishing a permanent W kingship. We have him to thank for the great state of affairs in America, so why would we want any change?