October 7, 2009
By Valeree Dunn

Worst Album: 
The Listening by Lights

I remember when I heard my first Britney Spears album.

I wish I could leave my commentary to that one punch-line, because that’s about all this album deserves.
A one woman act with a computer and a synthesizer, Lights could probably be described as mellow.  A more accurate description would invoke images of a sleepy apparition: one part Britney Spears, one part Imogen Heap, and three parts Ketamine.

Since when do Photoshopped cartoon women yield so much attention?  Unless the E-surance girl wants to drop an album; and in that case anything would be better than this fluff.

Best Movie:
Away We Go

Any film featuring excessive dry comedy is destined to be underrated, under-appreciated, and overly hilarious.  Rising stars, John Krasinski of “The Office” and Maya Rudolph of “SNL,” headlined “Away We Go” with their trademark sarcastic, realistic, and at times awkward humor.

Best Actress: Maggie Gyllenhaal--for keeping a straight face.  Her role as a new age mother and professor is mind-blowing.

Best Quote: “Babies like to breathe, and they’re good at hiding it. I put a pillow over a baby. I thought she wasn’t breathing, but she was. She was sneaky, but I’ll try again,” one of the film’s many children.
Recommended: Weeknight rental only

Worst Music Video:
She Don't Wanna Man 
Asher Roth

Who does Asher Roth think he is?  “I Love College” was admittedly the best spring break theme song of 2009.  But after a success like that couldn’t Asher Roth just spare us all and be content with his one-hit-wonder status?

Chuckie Finster hair and creepy mustache aside, Asher Roth is not, and never will be, thug.  The video for “She Don’t Wanna Man” tells a different story.

The girls at the club eye Roth with his smoking-hott lyrics, “But in that moment that our eyes lock/I swear that we had sex.”  And not to leave any woman out, “Ask him, yo/ can you take her fat friend?”

Roth is shown enjoying his Patron like any good rapper should, and the video plays out like any typical work of T.I., Lil Wayne, or Jay-Z. 

And that should be the first, last, and only time the name Asher Roth is listed in the same sentence as the name of any legitimate hip-hop artist.