September 30, 2009
Valeree Dunn

Best Guilty Pleasure: “Real Chance at Love 2”

I went to high school with a guy who could fit two quarters in between his front teeth. He flipped off the camera for the senior picture and he replaced all the white paint in the art department with glue. Chance, a VH1 prodigy, reminds me so much of that guy; every time he opens his mouth to speak I throw quarters at the screen hoping to fill the gap in his teeth—and his brain.

Like any VH1 “reality” series, “Real Chance at Love 2” is cheesy, dramatic and most of all ridiculous. Mamacita doesn’t know who she loves—Real, Chance, or publicity; Blonde Baller loves drama; Spanish Fly loves herself; and Classy, whoever she is, loves her new necklace. I can’t keep up. Will Real and Chance ever find true love? Only if they keep throwing money at the problem—quarters only, please.

Best Song: “Temazcal” by Monsters of Folk

Monsters of Folk’s new self-titled album is disappointing at best; most of the music would have been better left to The Beatles or The Who. I wouldn’t have advised the boys of My Morning Jacket and Bright Eyes to quit their day jobs, much less coalesce, but it looks like they’re happy with what they’ve created here.

That being said, there is one good song on the album, “Temazcal,” and it’s beautiful. The lyrics are deep, enigmatic and melancholy with “All love we made at gun point wasn’t love at all,” and “When the earth wasn’t so angry, and God was on our side.”

“Temazcal” is calm and relaxing—it has the definite markings of Conor Oberst. However, it also displays some other progressive folk influences such as Sea Wolf, The Decemberists and Rogue Wave—and in light of the rest of Monsters of Folk’s new album, any one of these bands could have done it better.

Worst Song: “Whatcha Say” by Jason DeRulo

Really Jason? You have the opportunity to release your first hit single to mainstream America and you choose to sample another hit song? Taking a cue from Framing Hanley, Flo Rida, or Kid Cudi is probably not the smartest career move.

For the majority of people who don’t realize this: “Whatcha Say” is a song in this ever-expanding genre of sampling good music into songs that disgrace the original artist. This song is an offense to Imogen Heap, the original vocalist who crooned the lyrics, “Ooh Whatcha Say,” in her cult-hit “Hide and Seek.”

Unfortunately the damage has been done; most people will forever attribute these lyrics to a rap song. And in an imaginary interview with Jason DeRulo, his response to the question—Is it more important to be liked or respected?—is a resounding “neither.”

Throwback of the Week: Groundhog Day

Groundhog Day (1993) is highly overlooked as possibly among the greatest of college-humored movies, although its tackiness is a little understated in comparison to the comedy we’ve become accustomed to. This one is timeless and the humor is still fresh even at a PG rating when movie ratings were still conservative.

Best Actor: Bill Murray. He’s hilarious but he’s such a tool in this movie; Dane Cook take note. Best Line: “No tomorrow...? That would mean there’d be no hangovers! There’d be no consequences! We could do whatever we wanted!” Also Watch: Bruce Almighty, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Caddy Shack.