What do you get when you cross a 'Yellow Submarine' with 'Sponge Bob Square Pants?'
'Life Aquatic' a colorful, yet sad film

By Gabrielle Wiegand

     “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou” reminded me of a cross between the famed Beatles’ song “Yellow Submarine” and the children’s program “Sponge Bob Square Pants.”
     “Life Aquatic” is the story of Steve Zissou, played by Bill Murray, and his crew. Zissou is an internationally renowned oceanographer and documentary filmmaker whose career is in decline and has not had a hit film in almost a decade. On his most recent expedition his partner, Esteban, was killed by an animal that Zissou “thinks” might be a Jaguar Shark.
     Zissou makes it his mission to find and kill this shark. Joining him on his adventure is Ned Plimpton (played by Owen Wilson), an airline pilot from Kentucky who may or may not be Steve’s son. The real brains behind the Zissou team is Steve’s estranged wife, Eleanor (played by Anjelica Houston) who refuses to accompany the team on their expedition to kill the Jaguar Shark.
     Jane, (played by Cate Blanchett) a five month pregnant reporter, accompanies the team in order to write a piece on Steve. Both Steve and Ned find the pleasant, gum chewing reporter attractive.
     The Zissou team is a group of misfits, clad in matching blue uniforms (sometimes the uniform is a tiny blue Speedo), little red hats, and a Glock strapped to their thighs. Bill Murray in tight little Speedo shorts is an image that will most likely never leave me. Bill Murray in a wetsuit is another image that will haunt my nightmares.
     None of the team appear to have any real expertise in the field of oceanography. They include a very serious and strange German named Klaus, who only wears shorts; a topless scriptgirl named Anne Marie; Pele, a safety expert who spends the entire movie playing the guitar and singing in languages I could not recognize, and several other eccentric characters.
     The team is rounded out by about half a dozen unpaid interns whose main tasks are bringing Steve cocktails, stealing equipment from other scientists, and acting as a shield for Steve when pirates attack. They were definitely my favorite!
     The expedition to kill the shark is plagued with problems, starting with financial problems, then a pirate attack, in what I think is the funniest scene of the whole movie, some kidnapping, and a little bit of mutiny by the Zissou crew.
     “Life Aquatic” is a colorful film that is at times a little absurd and frequently sad. Zissou is constantly in search of a new escapade but there is one adventure that he has never asked for and that frightens him- fatherhood.
     The acting in “Life Aquatic” is very good, but the film felt as if the cast and crew made the movie not for the public but for themselves. The movie seemed full of hidden secrets and inside jokes that the audience could not understand, but that I am sure the production team are laughing themselves senseless over.
     “Life Aquatic” is written and directed by Oscar-nominated Wes Anderson (“Rushmore,” “The Royal Tenenbaums”). It runs 118 minutes but seems longer.

Grade: B

The University of Nowhere
Tom Wolfe’s Bacchanal

By Brian Mackey

      Sodom. Gomorrah. Dupont.
      Tom Wolfe’s Dupont University, a fictional synthesis of Ivy League academics and Big Ten athletics, is a sort of hell on earth.
    

“I am Charlotte Simmons.” By Tom Wolfe. 676 pp. Farrar Straus Giroux. $28.95.

  In “I am Charlotte Simmons,” his title character is an Appalachian valedictorian on a full-ride scholarship to one of the best universities in the world. But she seems to be one of the only ones who appreciates it for what it could be, with students debating fine ideas in a cénacle (after Balzac’s “Lost Illusions”).
      But rather than a sort of ivory tower on the hill, Dupont is a 24-7 Bacchanal (like all American colleges, you get the idea Wolf would like you to think). Students are concerned with getting smashed and “hooking up,” which was the title of a previous collection of his, and seems to be his be-all end-all of college existence.
      Reading Tom Wolfe makes me think of what it might be like to see John Ashcroft on “The Real World.” He tries to be hip, but something about it feels so fake.
      “Gil hear that, man, he gon’ come gitchoo!” and “what grades you be getting anyway…” Wolf puts into the mouths of two black basketball players. It is the same feeling I get when I see an old blackface movie.
      Wolf’s background is in journalism, and though his first book was published in 1965, he did not start writing novels until the 1980s. He was one of the pioneers of “new journalism,” that is, literary non-fiction that is today common to the likes of the New Yorker and Atlantic magazines.
      Wolf still uses reportage as the basis for his fiction, and he spent weeks visiting Stanford, Duke, the University of Michigan, and other institutions of higher learning. But for someone who prides himself on the details, he gets a lot of little things wrong, just enough to jar the reader out of the story: the boys play video games on a Playstation 3, frat boys watch a DVD television (whatever that is) and NCAA basketball games are played in quarters (in actuality, they are divided into halves).
     

 But for all the mistakes, there are some aspects of college life he gets cuttingly right. One of his students, who has spent weeks telling her friends how bad her grades would be, finally goes online to find she has earned — surprise! — bad grades.
Wolf describes it like this: “Like many a student before her, [she] had thought that if she was pessimistic enough ahead of time, if she steeped herself deeply enough in foreboding, the result couldn’t possibly be as bad as she had feared. Somehow the very act of thinking about it with such despair beforehand would be a form of magic that would ward off any truly ill fate.”
      The book has a strong narrative that can be exhilarating, funny, and terrifying. This being an epic of Greek proportions — it could have been called “Charlotte’s Odyssey” — the heroine, on such a high pedestal, has far to fall. Charlotte’s descent into the “in crowd” and naïve flirtation with Womanly Experiences, as she sees them, held a tight grip on my attention and kept the pages turning.
      If Wolf would tone down his moralizing and stick instead to storytelling, his books would be better for it.

Planning a special night out?
Sebastian's Hideout provides high quality entrees and drinks

By Gabrielle Wiegand

     Feel like getting a little dressed up and spending a whole lotta money on dinner? Head downtown to Sebastian’s Hideout. Sebastian’s has a nice variety of gourmet meals that will fill your stomach and empty your wallet.
    

 I went for dinner and ordered their New York Strip. My steak was done to perfection. It was juicy and succulent. My steak came with grilled asparagus and carrots and mashed potatoes. The vegetables were tasty and fresh. The mashed potatoes were the embodiment of creamy goodness.
     Other entrees included rack of veal, grilled Atlantic salmon (which I almost got because it sounded

so good in the menu), and their special of the evening, sea bass. They also offer an assortment of appetizers and salads.
     Dinner entrees at Sebastian’s average about $25, but they do offer less expensive lunch specials.
    

Sebastian's Hideout, located at 221 S. Fifth Street., offers a variety of gourmet meals and drinks for a special evening out

 The lighting is warm and soft in Sebastian’s and there are white linen tablecloths and perfectly balanced silverware (which is really more important then most people realize… there is nothing worse then an uneven knife). Located downstairs at Sebastian’s is the bar. Nothing makes you feel more adult then walking up to it and ordering a martini, straight up, with two olives.
     Sebastian’s has a very extensive wine selection; there is something for everyone on it. Their bar is well stocked and the bartender makes killer after dinner drinks. I strongly recommend the grasshopper.
     Dining at Sebastian’s Hideout is an experience in itself. The quality of the food, romantic ambiance, and impeccable service made dinner not just another meal but a real event.

     I strongly recommend treating yourself to a nice “back to school” or “thank god I survived finals” dinner at Sebastian’s. It is also a perfect place for that special date, and if you have no one to ask, I am currently available.
Sebastian’s is located at 221 S. Fifth St.

What do you get when you cross a 'Yellow Submarine' with 'Sponge Bob Square Pants?'

The University of Nowhere

Planning a special night out?