Feature

The history of Valentine's Day
Historians disagree about the holiday's origins

By Janee Mitchell - Feature Writer

    For many people, Valentine’s Day is one of the most celebrated days of the year. This day, dedicated to couples and those looking for love, has been around since approximately 496 AD, according to most sources. The day is utilized to express love and affection.
      When Valentine’s Day arrives, couples and those seeking affection give each other chocolates, candy hearts, flowers, balloons and other items to express their love and appreciation for each other. Most people celebrate Valentine’s Day because it is a tradition but, well, where did it come from? Most people can’t answer this question.
      The tradition of Valentine’s Day is a topic of interest, yet no one can exactly agree on how it began. Sources agree that Valentine’s Day has its origins with St. Valentine, a priest beheaded in the 2nd century. Many, however, disagree on who exactly St. Valentine was.
      Some say he was a priest of the Roman empire who persecuted Christians, some who say he performed forbidden marriages and wrote letters to the daughter of his jailer, and some say he was just a Catholic priest. There will continue to be varying opinions of who St. Valentine was, but everyone agrees that he was beheaded on Feb. 14. This began the two-part birth of Valentine’s Day.
      According to theholidayspot.com, the next event in the birthing of Valentine’s Day occurred on Feb. 15, the Lupercalia Festival. The Lupercalia festival was a lustrous lottery in which men would draw women’s names out of a box. The woman they chose would be their partner in sex games, feasts and their sexual partners for a year. After the death of St. Valentine, the festival was incorporated into the traditions of Valentine’s Day.
      It is rumored that Pope Gelasius I decided to change the ceremony since it was to be included as a part of Valentine’s Day, having men and women drawing names of saints instead of sexual partners. After the drawing, they would model their lives after them for a year.
      Sources say Roman men were not too enthused about this change from lusty to saintly and they began to send love notes signed with Valentine’s name and gifts in an attempt to pursue women, keeping the tradition of seeking affections of and sexual companionship of women on Valentine‘s Day.
      Thekidsdomain.com attributes the first Valentine to Duke Charles of Orleans, who sent the card to his wife in the 14th century. The tradition of sending Valentine cards modeled the card of the Duke, containing the signature of St. Valentine and love notes and gifts like the ones sent by Roman men in the pursuit of affection, continues today. This is the primary reason for which many say Valentine’s Day is a day dedicated to women.

Key to V-Day gift giving success:
Keep it simple and sincere

By Ron Felten - General Assignment Reporter

   If there is such a thing as failing perfectly, men and women seem to do it every year around Valentine’s Day. And after receiving the same tired greeting cards and the obligatory candy hearts time and time again, a good number of those in relationships have come to feel as though their significant others have lost their creative gift-giving spark.
      But finding the perfect item for your partner is not always easy and may even require a little imagination. According to Carol Chase, owner of Amanda’s Gifts in Springfield, people must first learn to think outside the box (of chocolates, that is) and realize that bigger is not always better if they really want to impress their loved ones on Valentine’s Day.
      “The gift doesn’t have to be red,” Chase said. “And it doesn’t have to be something that stands out and says, ‘I’m for Valentine’s Day.’” In fact, Chase added, some of the best gifts - big or small - are ones that will have a sentimental meaning to the person receiving them.
      “I had a customer just the other day who bought a music box with dolphins on it for his wife because, even though dolphins aren’t necessarily romantic and have nothing to do with Valentine’s Day, she just really likes them,” Chase said. “He knew it would mean something special to her.”
      Carrie, an employee of BJ Grand Salon & Spa who would not provide her last name, said spa treatments are becoming a popular alternative to the more traditional gifts of jewelry and flowers. “A lot of husbands and boyfriends come in and buy gift certificates or package deals for their wives and girlfriends,” she said. “A series package isn’t like a necklace or ring - it’s a gift that keeps on giving.”
      Carrie added that men who decide to go with a gift certificate from a spa as a gift should be cautious because of the message they might be perceived as sending. “If a guy only bought his girlfriend an eyebrow wax, that might be offensive,” she said. “But if he bought her the Grand Indulgence package - which includes everything from a seaweed scalp treatment to lunch and flowers (the limo is extra) - she would just love it.”
      Jackie Vaught-Slighton, manager of the salon, said packages for men, who typically have rougher skin but usually avoid treatment, are available as well. “A lot of guys work outside and are exposed to the elements,” she said. “And they are beginning to want the same pampering women get.”
      Vaught-Slighton added that many customers opt for a couple’s package. “They can come in and get their manicures and pedicures together,” she said. “It’s a great way to make Valentine’s Day extra special because they’ll be spending three or four hours together.”
      For most students, however, it seems as though a little can go a long way. Wayne Silas, a junior business administration major, said that he would very much like to receive a little pampering of his own, though he emphasized he would not expect anything near the level of spa treatments.
      “Traditionally, it’s supposed to be the guy who takes the girl out,” Silas said. “But I think it would be really nice if girls would plan a night out for their guys. She wouldn’t necessarily have to make it ‘my day’ but it would be cool to just be able to relax a little bit.”
      Especially for students operating with a limited Valentine’s Day budget, Silas’ comments are music to the ears. Whereas BJ Grand Salon & Spa’s Grand Indulgence package runs for a pricey $542, a simple dinner-and-a-movie type of night out is definitely more affordable to many. Furthermore, the close attention given to details and a little romance can go a long way.
      Diana Liu, a senior economics major, said she would feel guilty if her boyfriend spent any more than $100 on her for Valentine’s Day. “I would feel bad if he spent a lot of money,” Liu said. “I would much rather get something I had hinted to him about or something else that shows he cares and listens.”
      When asked how she would feel about receiving BJ Grand Salon & Spa’s Grand Indulgence package as a gift, Liu had mixed feelings. “I’d be flattered that he would spend so much money on me,” she said. “But I would definitely make him return [the gift certificate]. Girls know how much things like that cost and it’s just too much for Valentine’s Day.”
      Susan Burgett, owner of the Enchanted Florist flower shop in Springfield, said she thinks showing one’s partner how special he or she is can be what makes a Valentine’s Day gift successful. “Flowers make people feel happy because they’re an extravagance,” she said. “People tend to not buy things for themselves that they don’t really need so, when someone else does it for them, it makes them feel good.”
      Burgett also defended flowers as a Valentine’s Day gift and said that while they are traditional they are not a lazy, thoughtless present. “Sure, there are always those people who use [florists] as a last minute convenience,” she said. “But I think most people plan ahead and know they’re going to purchase flowers.”
      From manicures and seaweed facials to plush hearts and flowers, almost any gift is potentially perfect for your loved one. The key to getting it just right, though, is to pay attention to your partner’s specific wants and to make sure what ever you give them, regardless of its price or grandiosity, is personal and from the heart. Following those simple guidelines, the experts agree, all but guarantees Valentine’s Day gift-giving success.

Breaking up is hard to do
What to do when you don't know what to do

By Janee Mitchell - Feature Writer

      “The pain experienced during a breakup is as individual as the millions of people who go through it,” said Tigress Luv, a writer on breaking up. Everyone goes through breakups, and almost everyone wishes they did not have to go through it. Some say breaking up is a way of life; you just have to continue to break up and do-over until you meet the right person.
      Judith Shipp, director of counseling at UIS, said she’s counseled some people on break ups, both men and women alike, and has discovered there is really no advice to be given, only “specific help in exploring different options available.”
      However, if one of the specific options available is leaving your significant other, how do you bring yourself to do it, and what do you say? Do you just simply say ‘its over, now leave’, or do you cry your eyes out because you don’t know what to say?
      Breaking up is especially hard for those of us in long term relationships. You wake up one day and decide you are either tired of your significant other, or did not esteem them enough to start a relationship in the first place. What do you do? After all it has been years, for the most part guilt consumes us. You weigh the situation and only gain if’s and why’s and how’s. If I broke up with…Why would I break up with…How do I break up with…
      Here is a thought on breaking up from the College Boy website: Breaking up is never easy. Situations get worse when you break up with your first love, even worse when you are the one being dumped and the greater your feelings were or are for the person, the greater the pain.
      No one likes pain. In fact, it would be great if we could all just live a life with no pain. Well, life is not designed to fit our plans and unfortunately, pain comes with the territory. Pain is inevitable. So, whether you are the dumper or the dumpee, there will be an unavoidable pain. Why not just do it?
      What about birthdays and holidays, those special days like Valentine’s Day, how do you break up with someone then? Well, it’s easy. Just ask a guy who couldn’t find the perfect gift or any gift at all for his significant other. You just find something really stupid, but fightworthy, to focus on, then start a fight ending with the words “it’s over” or whatever your words of choice are.
      We could just transform the word “breakup” into a split, because of irreconcilable differences, the method most used in Hollywood. Most of us are not stars though, and a breakup is just a breakup to us.
      Regardless of how you do it, or when you do it, breaking up is hard to do. Either way you look at it, someone will get hurt. After you’ve finally done it, however, you can be proud of yourself for taking such a tremendous step. For those of you who want to break up with someone and don’t know how, here are some solutions created by UIS students:

1. Send an email, at least then you won’t have to see their pain.
2. Move away or just simply hope they move, distance almost certainly ends things.
3. Write a note, but end it amicably.
4. Just stop calling them. Hopefully, they’ll get the hint.
5. Just tell them you don’t like them anymore (the no-mercy approach).
6. Have a friend break up for you on three-way. At least you won’t seem like too much of a villain.
7. Make them break up with you. They’ll feel good and you’ll have a clear conscience, maybe, depending on what measures you go to.

The history of Valentine's Day

Key to V-Day gift giving success

Brealing up is hard to do