Scott Resetar
candidate for Transfer Student Senator

What up, yo? My name is Scott Resetar. I’m a Junior transfer student running for the transfer student senator position. Facts: 3.8 GPA, 2 years at SIUC, 4 years in the United States Air Force, currently Vice-President of the Biology Club. Now that we have the boring stuff out of the way, let me say I will literally punch a shark in the face to protect this student body. Also, Bears. I’ve been reviewing the literature and there’s no rule outlawing them on campus. They are the not so silent killer. I’ve already served our country, now let me serve you. As Ronald Reagan said, “I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth, and inexperience.” Jet Packs: Why don’t we have them yet? What’s holding up this technology? I’ve traveled the country and the world, and was an employee of the world’s largest corporation for 4 years: The United States Department of Defense. Also, fitness. I will whip you all into shape with Crossfit at the TRAC. My platform: I will protect the student body from exploitation, infringement of rights, and promote safety for campus events. This statement is scatterbrained for a purpose. Get the student’s attention, get them thinking, then decide to vote for Scott Resetar.